Life In Admission

SO I have no belongings and there are only 2 other kids there, one of which really does have mental issues cuz he doesn't even talk, just makes noises although he looks normal. And another girl is there, one of the ladies at the desk said "she's in the same boat as you". She was my roomie, but I didn't quite know wat the lady meant by that. I didn't quite like that lady anyways, because is was like she was being judgmental of me. You know what she asked me, well of course you don't know, never mind. She asked me, " Do you always wear you're hair like that, or did you just not brush it today." I had straightened my hair and well becuase I am mixed I don't use that grease stuff black people use in their hair, nor do i use a perm. Ijust wash it then straighten it(after it's dry of course). This lady was black by the way. And I'm just like that is kind of rude, considering the fact that I did do my hair. I had it in a braid on the side where my bangs are, I can't explain it any better than that. But was shocked at her question, but I was like there are many rude people out there in this world. So I get in my room wichis so bare and big and I just hated it. I go in the bathroom to take my shower and it is completely disgusting, the floor is puddled with water, becuase the shower doesnt even have a little wall to block the water it'sd just a floor with a drain and there is no drain in the floor outside of the shower so there is water every where. So I get another wash cloth and towel and a bar of soap and I try my best to clean it up and try to get some of the water up, but it just completely soaks the towels I put down. I take my shower then I look around the room a bit and I make my bed and get in it, I have extreme OCD, Imake my bed before getting in it if it's not done, and it usually isn't done becuase I have to position everything, so that I am comfortable. Well I open the curtains too on the window, but some lady closes them when she checked on us, that pissed me off so I open them back again. I was awake the next day at like a quarter to six. I always get up early, I just don't always get out the bed. But the lady comes in at like six to take my vitals and I'm about ready to get out of the room, because it so so depressing to be in that room.Well me and my roomie never talked and dhe got there the same day I did earlier in the day and she was gone by lunch time, so was the other kid. That pissed me off. I wanted out too. I had finals to take. And so I pretty much spent the rest of that day to myself. The next day at lunch a boy my age came. He was in there for anger. They transfered him from juvie, what they called Metro, which is probably the name of it, IDK. So yea and later on that night a little girl came and she was like 11. She was so precious and innocent. We called her 'Little One'. She was in there for suicide. She was cutting her wrists with a key. She lived in a group home and she was depressed becuase her parents never showed her an affection and her mom tried to kill her. So that must be hard. Well as the days past a couple people kept showing up. two girls left the same day they got there. When I left it there were 3 girls and 2 boys, not counting me. I got attached to Little One and the boy that came in for anger. The other boy was in for suicide, he tried to hang himself, but instead of the rope getting his neck it got him by the arm and he was hanging from the tree yelling and whatnot. And the other girls were in for suicide as well. One was bi, she liked me and both boys like me as well (as inmore than friends kinda like). Well I miss Little One and I said I would visit her at her group homw and we would hang out, she was like a sister to me, I felt the need to protect her. I called her group home and they said I had to contact her case worker in order to be accepted onto her calling list, but I don't have her case worker's number or comtact info, I don't even know her name. That doesn't help, nor do I have Little One's last name. She said she didn't know it. I think she doesn't want anything to do with her parents. She said they were dead to her. I can understand her pain though. Well I am going to try and see if I can contact her. I might just show up at her group home, and see what they say. I mean I'm a kid and they can monitor my visit with her. Right? Well I really miss her and I promised her we would hang out. And I keep my promises, even though it's been forever. I hope she hasn't forgotten me. She probably hasn't so I will go now.

~TCE