Long Time, "No See"...

Hello. Sorry I haven't been keeping up with my blog daily. I am really stressed, but it really helps my stress to blog. Gosh I contradict myself so much. So I totally missed my appointement with my shrink this morning because my mom and I forgot I guess. Maybe she didn't forget and I left the house before she could day anything. Oh well. But the fact that I forgot really messed up my day. I really like seeing my shrink because he actually listens. I am one of those people who are always giving acvice and whatnot to others and putting my ideas and sometimes thoughts but no one listens. It's like no one cares about what I have to say about anything. I guess that's why I blog. Bloggers want to be heard and thats why they blog and ask people to read them. It's like a diary for me to let everything out to all anonymous people and people can post their commentaries on my entries. Well I really don't know what to do at this point. Did I mention that last Friday I freaked out on my mom. I was like screaming at her. She really didn't do anything to provoke it. I guess I was having a panic attack and she was around me and I just blew up. I had never yelled at her or anyone before, not like that. I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs and one of our neighbors called the cops cuase they thought something was really going wrong. Okay so I get to live with my cousin in Newark, New Jersey. She is a teacher for 10th grade Biology. I can't wait. I think I will stay here in Georgia until August before I go so I can spend my 16th birthday with my friends. I just hope I don't do anything to keep me here any longer. I have a court date on the 10th of June because of my shoplifting. *cringe*. My shrink said thatmy brain is probably undergoing something called dissociation. Something like that. I really wish I could forget about that incident. I am really ashamed of it. It wasn't even my intention, it just kinda happened. Well enough abou that. There is this teacher who is very good looking. I almost thought he was a student. He has some blog for this organization thing you should check it out at www.joshbruce.theworldrace.org. He really is gorgeous. He's tall and with a faux-hawk, too bad he is married. LOL. Well I am going to go now because I have stupid projects for school to worry about.
~TCE

I'm back...

Okay so I am going to reveal a secret of mine of which I've only told one person about. I wouldn't consider myself bulimic, b/c my mom is big on the no privacy thing even when I'm in the bathroom. I am short with a very muscular build, but I've got a very nice body. But my mom says things about my size and she makes me feel large for some reason, I've just got really large and muscular legs thats what running an playing soccer will do. So I took up throwing up cuz I just can't not eat, not that I love food but also b/c she will suspect something. So, I find myself not throwing up b/c she hates it when I'm in the bathroom too long. But I actually find myself having to take a crap after I eat anyways ( I know TMI, but it's the truth, besides I'm only human). I'm not taking laxatives any more (it was prescribed, but i never really took it anyways, I hated it) But still, I guess you could say I have a problem. I never throw up at school, it takes too log for starters and bathroom is gross, but of course that wouldn't even stop me, even with my OCD. Well I'm going to go now...
thanx for listening
~TCE

Random

Hmmm. Okay Is this not one weird sooap dispenser? It's very sickening...ish. I've actually seen a weirder one though.

Anyways about my weekend since I haven't been on. It was interesting. I'll just leave it at that. A lot of dramarama, but that's okay. Having drama in life is actually what makes life so interesting. Who wants a plain ol' boring life with no excitement and arguments and issues? I mean I would probably die of boredom if my life wasn't filled with drama. A lot of times I think to myself that my life isn't really interesting, but everyone's life is interesting if your look from someone else's view, because they haven't gone through what you have in life. Well, thanks fro stopping my and reading about my craziness and whatnot.

~TCE

PS I've always wanted to write a book on my life. Maybe I can just keep on bosting these things and eventually turn all of my posts into a book.

PPS Sorry almost forgot to mention that I think I want to write a new song called "Standing Naked in my Bathroom Mirror"...It will be kinda literal but idk. anyways...I'm going for good...atleast for this post, I may be back later. buh-bye