Another Random Moment...

Okay so yesterday I found a four-leaf clover the first time I looked down at the grass. I was outside waiting for someone and my wandering eyes just seemed to drift to the ground! Yea. I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be if I ever found one. It was my first. Also me and some friends yesterday were talking and they were telling me about how they know a guy named Lord Almighty Johnson. I thought that was interesting, and we talked abut religion and life and whatnot and the movie Superbad, which I love. Well for a random thought post I sure am rambling on as usual so I'll stop now.

TTYL
~The Chocolate Eclair

Random Moment...

Okay today is National Prayer day, the first thursday of May. I just thought I would put that out there. Right now I should be doind my math quiz, in which I am utterly confused about. Oh, well I am passing the class anyways, unlike my fellow classmates. This was just a random thought that I had On A Whim and thought I'd share with you.

TTYL
~The Chocolate Eclair

I Made It Through Another Day!

Okay so I starting off my day today with a little pep in my step, hopefully the coffee helped a little bit. School *hmmm* it's not easy, but whatever happens will happen and I'll be okay. I know God is on my side and he will help me get through this life so that I can move onto the next one. I was thinking the other day about the beginning of time and how Eve was the first to sin. (Argh! Why do us women have to be so stubborn?) Well, we were supposed to have eternal life to begin with. Right? But beacuse of sin, that all fell down the drain and we now have to deal with this life first. So I thought, well since we were supposed to have eternal life to begin with, Earth must have already been Heaven, because in the Bible it says how after Adam and Eve sinned, they ran when they heard God walking through the garden , because they knew they did wrong. Because in Heaven you will be living with God, and this could have only been possible if Earth was once Heaven, but now we have a better Heaven to look forward to. Well this is only my depiction of this. And that's all she wrote.

This is The Chocolate Elair signing off...

Dear God,

So, I totally am having an okay day so far, I just am really worried about my passing Honors World History. I currently have a 60 and I automatically get 5 extra points, so that leaves me with a 65. If I can bring my grade up to atleast 6 points then I'll be good, cause then I will have a 76 which is a good thing. I'm not worried about the Hope Scholarship not counting those extra points. I have no idea why I struggle so much. It's not like I don't try (according to the 'rents), I just freak out and am too afraid to speak up and ask for help. When I need help, I need someone to teach it to me until I understand completely. I don't like it when you ask for help and the teacher goes, what do you need help on, in my case I don't even understand what I need help on. That's my problem. And in my Chemistry class, my teacher says we have to ask a question properly, I can not do that, beacuse I really suck at trying to explain myself in a good worded question. I gues also it's because I am too afraid to ask 'you know who' to stay after school. She is so skeptical and thinking I'm always being sneaky, when I'm not. I'm not as sneaky as the 'rents think I am. *sigh* I know that she was once a teenager, they all were. And I know that she did 'those things' with her friends and all. I don't want to do any of that stuff, and I know I am a good person with good intentions (I kust have a hard time believing it for myself). Yeah, I know I shoplifted, it was wrong and very stupid of me. She thinks I planned it, but I didn't. I really didn't know what was going through my head (although the 'rents don't believe that). Trust me I'm no juvenile and You know that. I just happen to want to have things for my personal enjoyment, not because I want to be like other people. I wish people would understand that. I don't belong in this kind of school. I belong in a school where students strive to be different from one another (meaning a school for the 'gifted'). I want to be different more than anything (and of course I am *chuckle*). And I want people tp see that I'm different and appreciate it. Okay not necessarily appreciate, but not necessarily admire or adore, which is what I was going to stay. I want people to recognize it and not give me any crap about it. I want people to let me be myself and express myself and not to be judgemental. If I don't confine (I think that's the right word, maybe adapt) to what's supposedly 'in', then don't try and change me. I don't care about the 'in' styles of today. I love to dress like I'm in the 80's with a crazy, hippie, unique, green (meaning earth-friendly) kind of twang. I love my style. In fact, I j'adore it. I just love showing it off too. *smile* I am not a follower, but I am a leader. Heck, I was born a leader, I just have certain things about me that show I have low self-esteem, which makes me seem all too much like a follower. Yes, I have low self-esteem, but I hide it very well. And I am one of those girls who would be hard to catch her when she has her guard down. Once again the 'rents would definetely disagree on this one. Oh, well. All that matters is that I know me better than anyone else, except God of course, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Dear God,

Okay, so I am cery confused, although I'm trying not to be, I am still very confused...about what...my Chemistry homework? What to do right now as I sit here at this lunch table all by my lonesome (although I an writing this at the moment so I am doing somehing)? Okay so scartch that one...I guess I am confused about life. But who isn't? Everyone has a right because we don't understand it. All we want to do is be selfish and enjoy our wordly possessions...idolatry. Yes. I admit it. I find myself wanting enjoyment through worldly things rather than seeking enjoyment in talking to You and worhipping You. Life is hard, yeah we all know that, but that's what makes it so interesting. I'm actually glad You have allowed hardships in our lives, because without them we wouldn't need You. Am I not correct. I just wish I would stop screwing up, and making 'you know who' so angry at me all the time. And I can't stand it when people accuse me of things I don't do. Most of the time when I tell the truth people think I'm lying, it's frustrating. Like I know I'm a 'virgin' and 'drug-free' and not 'alcoholic' and stuff, but for some reason I give people the impression that I do all of that stuff. I am totally against and You know that. I mean it's not right for people to judge me even if i did those things, but fortunately for me, I don't and I don't ever plan on doing them, at least I will some of them only legally; not the part about 'drugs'.
And that's all she wrote.

This is The Chocolate Eclair signing off...